Ghosts in Rhonda

Ever thought you’ve had ghosts in your house? Something you placed on your counter at night is mysteriously on a different table in the morning? Weird sounds coming from the basement? Old hands touching you under the covers while you sleep? (Ok, that’s a little over the top). But you know what I’m saying.

Well, we think we have a ghost in Rhonda’s bathroomn. Couple things. My deodorant and shampoo both went missing. We fill up our water tank and then two days later it will be empty. Our water pump, which is activated by a switch in the back of Rhonda, will oddly be on in the morning.

Now, could I have misplaced the shampoo and deodorant because I can be forgetful?
Possibly.
Could we have used the water tank more than we remembered?
Maybe.
Could we have turned the pump on the night before while brushing our teeth and not turned it off?
Perhaps.
Could there be a ghost in our bathroom?
Most likely.

We wanted to get to the bottom of this so we enlisted some experts to help us out.
First thing we did, obviously, was contact the Ghost Whisperer herself, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Jennifer was concerned.

"There is a presence here."
“There is a presence here.”

She told us the ghost was real, and that it needed to work its problems out before it would leave us alone. We wanted more info, but Jennifer needed to get to her baby shower.
jennifer-love-hewitt-baby-shower-bel-air-hotel__oPt

Next we called Whoopie Goldberg.
whoopie
She brought the only spirit she had ever entered into. Although we didn’t find out anything about our ghost we did discover from Mr. Swayze that there is a Roadhouse Bar in Heaven.

"I am so happy.  ROADHOUSE!"
“I am so happy. ROADHOUSE!”

So, we did what any person would do if they want to get to the bottom of a ghost mystery.
We called in the ultimate Ghostbuster.

"Gozer was very big in Sumeria."
“Gozer was very big in Sumeria.”

And what did Bill Murray tell us? He told us our ghost probably suffered a cruel death while relieving himself in our bathroom and he was back until he finally got that nice, relaxing #2 off his plate. He advised leaving Rhonda for a couple days and letting the ghost do what he’s got to do.

We thanked Bill and he went on his way.

We decided to take him up on his advice and so, here we are, in our fourth day in Seattle, Washington. It has been four nights since we slept in Rhonda as the Michie’s, our friends here, have let us take over their basement.

We are leaving tomorrow so our only hope is Bill Murray was right and the ghost takes the most satisfying dump of his life and heads to the after-life in peace.

We shall see.

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For Once Why Can’t We Just be Cool!

Picture this: Brett and I walking along a gorgeous Tofino beach in the Vancouver Islands.

Beautiful

Sooooooo amazing.

We see some mussels and ask the kind lady fishing with her husband if we could eat them. She says of course, she does it all the time.

Mussels in the Ground

Awesome: Never have we ever ‘caught’ and cooked a meal. Brett couldn’t contain his excitement:

Brett Psyched

So we pick a bag full of mussels….Picking Mussels

and make a pretty darn tasty sauce with ingredients we scrounged from Rhonda’s cupboard. At this point, we are pretty freaking proud of ourselves….and they tasted amazing.

Checking To See if They Are ReadyMussells Cooked

Fast forward to later in the evening as we were telling the bartender…still pretty excited about the entire day.

It turns out that kind lady fishing with her husband had no freaking clue.

The bartender immediately had this disgusted look: “What???? Did you check to see if it was OK????”

Ummmmmmm, we obviously didn’t. So of course it turned out that the entire area is closed to fishing due to contamination including the picking of shelled seafood.

Well, way to rain on our parade! We didnt get sick (THANK GOD) but I think we were both pretty sure we were going to spontaneously start foaming at the mouth in the middle of the night!

And there you have it. It’s the story of two dumb Americans who just want to be the cool kids living by the water. Uhhhh, uncontrollable diarrhea is probably not very cool. I’ve taken a mental note.

Your Lives Can Continue

I know you all have just been waiting anxiously wondering why it has been FIFTEEN days since you have seen a new post…sort of like this guy.

Anxious Guy

You may have even gotten mad as hell, like this guy.

Mad as Hell

Well traveling through the mountains of Canada means limited access to WIFI, which means no dumb Traveling Rhonda posts or crazy Bert videos.

Well, we are now back in the good old USA. We are back to annoy you.

Annoy

Your lives can continue.

Noreen the Outlaw Queen

With the road to Yellowstone National Park closed due to snow we spent a night in Cody, Wyoming, the home of “Buffalo Bill” Cody. We wandered into a random Italian restaurant because it was the only bar with live music. This music did not disappoint. We met one of the most inspirational people you have ever laid eyes on, Noreen the Outlaw Queen. She controlled the room, not just with her personality, but with her amazing voice and even better riffs on the guitar!!!
As she mesmerized everyone in the room, the owner of the bar let us in on a little secret. Noreen was 83 years old!
She has been playing music in this area for over 60 years and she still had it.
We got to meet her afterwards and take pictures with this western icon.
She told us she simply loved playing music for people and seeing them smile so she keeps on doing it.
As we left the bar that night we both thought of what an awesome life she was living and that we want to do the same!
And why can’t we?

noreen

noreen 2

We have Mastered the Wind!

Holy crap did it get hot in Rhonda this summer! It could be nice and cool outside, but within Rhonda it always seemed we could never get a breeze. We constantly resorted to covering our bodies with Frozen Margaritas in order to stay cool (thank you Jackie!).

Sweet tan line
Sweet tan line

However, after almost two months on the road we finally mastered the wind!

We were parked outside a Laundromat in Middleton, Wisconsin to steal some WiFi, and we noticed a breeze shoot through our window. It was fairly hot that night so we were hoping for the breeze to continue.

It did not.

How could we harness the breeze?

And then it hit us! Let’s see what direction the wind is traveling using our trusty cell phones, and then park accordingly so the wind would hit us.

I was so proud of our brains that night. The wind was moving SW at 7 mph. So, all we did was face Rhonda NW. Bam! The wind streamed through like the Salmon of Capistrano. It only took two months, but we had done it!

We had mastered the wind…just in time for fall in the Rocky Mountains!

Now, where the hell did we put our blankets? It’s freaking 32 degrees outside and the wind is making it freezing in here!
Someone shut that damn window!

It's fricking freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth.
It’s fricking freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth.